Being a "Tard" as I Prime the Carpet?

So . . . anyone who has been to our house in the last let's say . . . year and a half has seen our slow progression in removing all the wallpaper in order to paint our walls. Well, the wall paper is all down, and we decided that we would finally bite the bullet and prime and paint our walls. Well, after a long day we were both tired, and it didn't look as if priming was on the top of Lamon's list of things to do after the kids went down. We invited all of the family over for Hayden and Ada's birthday tomorrow and I really didn't want to push all the furniture back with the walls undone, so I volunteered, "Hey, if you show me how to do it I will prime the walls!"
And Lamon thought that it was a fine idea, and told me he would get me started. So he got everything ready and rolled it on one of the walls, and showed me what to do, and how to be careful so that I wouldn't spill. He said, "Okay, now you can finish doing the walls and I will do the edges. So he handed me the roller, and I got it all covered with primer exactly as he showed me, and turned to attempt my first roll and suddenly I hear, "Mary!!!" I was like, "What?" And as I turned around I saw that I had accidentally let a drop of primer spill. "Oops!" But as I turned around and said oops, I also accidentally dragged the sheet that the primer was sitting on with my foot and the whole tray full of primer fell off the end table and spilled all over the carpet!
At this point, my kind husband called me a "Tard" (mostly joking) and threw the sheet and the primer right out the front door, and just looked at me incrediously and shook his head. "Mary! How do you do it? I thought for sure nothing catastrophic would happen on your very first attempt!!"
And I proceeded to tell him as I always do after a moment like this, "Hey, . . . You married me!" What can I say? I just want to keep people on their toes! "What embarrassing or disastrous thing will Mary do next?" That is something we can all have fun wondering when there is nothing else fun to do. I promise to provide comic relief whenever possible. I do my best to accomodate everyone's need for a good embarrassing story. There is no doubt that I will always have one to share!