I have an addiction

 I know that admitting to yourself and others that you have an addiction is part of the recovery process.
I feel pretty embarrassed about it, and have tried to hide it but,
 . . . . I have an addiction to taking pregnancy tests.
It is totally true. I don't know how many tests I have taken . . . it is impossible to know. It's very close to impossible for me to even get pregnant right now . . . but does that stop me? No.
There have just been some days that I have felt totally sick to my stomach and I think to myself, "I wonder if I'm pregnant?" Forget the fact that I had just eaten a quarter gallon of ice-cream or a

 dozen cookies . . .
But yes. Deep down I know that I'm not, but there is something very Las Vegas-ish in taking them! . . .
It's pretty pathetic I know. I have tried to keep my stash of pregancy tests hidden . . . but Lamon has found me out a couple times now. After the last time he found a stash of pregnancy test hidden in our game closet he yelled out, "Mary . . . are you still buying these?" . . . .Uh . . .
So I am announcing to the world. Or the 5 family members who read my blog . . . that I am not taking another pregnancy test until I can meet at least three of these criteria:

1. I am actually TRYING to get pregnant.
2. I am not on some type of birth control.
3. My belly is expanding and has nothing to do with my ice cream consumption.
4. I can feel kicking
5. Lamon actually starts calling me "Belly"

So there you go. I have 4 pregnancy tests in my house right now . . . Will there be four of them left at the end of next year when we start trying again? That is the question. Will they be there next week . . . ? . . . . Yes! I can do it!