Can Anyone Beat this Shopping Story? Anyone?

What is Bravery? Is Bravery fighting a charging bear? Climbing Mount Everest? Swimming with a Great White Shark? . . . Oh No. . .

Bravery is taking 5 children under the age of 9 out in public by yourself.

There have been so many times after a shopping trip gone crazy  I have thought to myself, "Wow. That was incredible. I should write about that one!" But I have refrained. I mean, We've all been there right? No need to write about it.

But seriously, yesterday takes the cake. And it is just too good of a story not to share. I'm pretty sure that my future daughters-in-law will want to hear about it some day. And whatever you do, when you read this story don't feel sorry for me! That is not the point of this story. I love my kids to pieces. And believe it or not I actually love it when embarrassing things happen to me. It makes life exciting.

Here's some preface information:
1. Lamon is at Scout Camp this week (Don't feel sorry for me). It's Lamon's 9th scout camp in a row, and I am pretty much awesome at having fun with the kids by myself while he's gone.
2. Our Honda Pilot croaked last week (Don't feel sorry for me). Lamon's Grandma let us borrow her sweet 1993 Oldsmobile to cruise around in, and I LOVE the smell of old cars! It's heavenly.

So with that, here we go.

Up until yesterday the week had gone great. I successfully loaded all five children into the ancient oldsmobile each day to go to swimming lessons without a hitch. Probably not the safest car situation with a couple kids up front, but each kid had their own seat belt and I taught them how to look out for policemen etc. :) Just kidding (sort of). Don't worry. We only drove this way to swimming lessons and back. We've just been chilling at and around home.

Well yesterday the kids were having fun running around with neighbors etc. and I noticed that the boys were running around outside without their shoes on in 100+ degree weather.  I told them they needed to get their shoes on. Well I guess Hayden had somehow lost his flip flops at a recent campout, and when I told him to get his tennis shoes on he said, "I can't. Look." And when I looked at them I saw that his tennis shoes had literally fallen apart. There were holes all over in the bottoms of them . . . it was bad. He needed new shoes. It was an emergency (sort of).

So I loaded all of the kids in the hot car, and we drove over to Ross. My plan was to hit Ross, and if we didn't find anything there go to Old Navy and finally to TJ Max.

We got to Ross, and when I went to get the kids out of the car I noticed that Drew and Hayden were both barefoot. Sweet. I did not want to go all the way home so I just had them hurry out of the car. We were going to make this speedy. So with Hunters car seat in one arm, I held Tilson's hand, as we all walked in . . . Ada with her out of control hair, and two barefooted boys. We looked good . . . :)

Hayden found a pair of shoes he kind of liked at Ross, but I am so cheap and I thought we could do better. So I said, "Let's go to these other two stores first, and if we don't find anything we will come back and buy these okay?"

Mistake. After Ross our trailer park looking family headed over to Old Navy where we didn't find any shoes, but we were fortunate enough to run into people we knew. Perfect! Just what you want to have happen in an instance like this. And it just happened to be one of the cutest, coolest moms in our neighborhood. Ya she was there with her four kids all looking cute, and all I could say was( as Tilson was running off somewhere), "Ha ha. Ya . . . my kids are barefoot." Or something awesome like that. Anyhow, don't worry. We did locate Tilson and headed to TJ Max.

Just for the record. Holding a baby in a car seat for this long is very tiring.

Anyways, TJ Max did not have anything, so we decided to go back to Ross for the first pair of shoes. On the way out the door Tilson came completely unglued. He apparently was upset because he wanted to open the door and one of the other kids opened it . . .so he threw a huge tantrum. Tears, screaming, fighting, It took some effort to get him out of the store. But we did. So there we were. I was carrying Hunter's car seat in one arm and a screaming kicking Tilson in the other arm and we headed back towards the car with two barefooted boys and Ada. As we passed Old Navy I was just waiting to see my beautiful neighbor walk out of the store and view the spectacle, but thankfully she didn't.

Somehow miraculously we calmed Tilson down enough to go into Ross and attempt to purchase some shoes for Hayden. I wanted to make it as quick as possible before any more tantrums erupted, so I had Hayden go get the shoes while we got in line. Well we waited for a long time, and no Hayden. Finally we had to go looking for him. When we finally found him he was with a store manager balling his eyes out. Great! The store manager apologized to me and said, "I'm sorry. I think I scared him. I just asked him what he was doing in the store without shoes on." Oh boy.

I picked up the shoes we were going to buy and said, "Ya . . .Sorry. That's why we're here." He looked at us so pathetically, I began to wonder what devastating circumstance he was imagining we were in. Anyways, Hayden was so embarrassed he actually climbed into the tiny cart with Tilson and put his head down the rest of the time. Well with three kids crammed into that tiny cart, after buying the shoes I decided that I was going to take the cart with the kids crammed in it out to the parking lot. I didn't want to unload all of the kids and risk another tantrum. So I headed for the door. I was at the door and there were like three people behind me who it seemed simultaneously began to tell me that I could not take the cart outside.

I am not a rebellious person usually, but after this whole shopping ordeal I silently said to myself, "Oh ya? Watch me!" And I started out the door. I was pushing hard on the cart trying to get through the door but I couldn't. I looked up and realized that there was a pole sticking out of the cart preventing us from going through. It was then that I saw the store manager standing there (the one that scared Hayden and thought we were destitute) and he said, "No really. You CAN'T take those carts outside."  Ha ha. Oh I can't stop laughing about that part. It was epic.

So with many people watching us now, I unloaded children out of the cart and walked outside to load the kids into the sweet oldsmobile. I unlocked it, helped get children's seatbelts on and then went to start the car. I stuck my hand in my pocket and . . . no keys. Oh no. I looked back at the sweaty kids and said, "Guys. I lost the keys." I started looking all over and I couldn't find them. It was not a fun moment. Then after what seemed like forever I finally found them tucked away in Hunter's car seat. Yeah! Things are looking up. I took the keys and got into the drivers seat, put the key in the ignition and then . . . the car wouldn't start. Really? I think I actually started laughing at this point.

"Okay everybody, let's get out of the car. We need to go back in the store and borrow a phone." You see . . . fate have it, I had forgotten my cell phone. So yes, I unloaded my five children and actually went back into Ross. All except Hayden who was actually so embarrassed he just stood outside the entrance door while I borrowed the store manager's (the one who scared Hayden and thought we were destitute) cell phone. I called my mother-in-law and when she picked up I actually started to cry and asked her if she would come save us. And now for a confession. I am pretty sure that I wasn't crying at all over what had happened, I am 99.9 percent sure that I was crying because I was absolutely certain that the store manager at Ross thought that we were homeless. Ha ha! That my folks is PRIDE and I have it in spades.

Anyway, as we sat in the sun and waited for Grandma to arrive I decided to try to start the car one last time and it started! Yeah. My mother-in-law pulled up along side us and rolled down her window and asked, "How are you doing?" I rolled my window down and said, "We're great!" And then we drove off into the sunset. It was perfect.

I honestly cannot stop laughing every time I picture myself trying to get that cart out of the store! "No really. You CAN'T take those carts outside." Ha ha. Oh . . . I love it.

Good thing I am so BRAVE and I love my kids so much. The ordeal didn't keep me from loading them up today and taking them to Despicable Me 2. Only this time we went in Grandma's Suburban! Thanks Mom! :)

Oh this is already one of my favorite memories. And now Hayden has some pretty sweet shoes!